Something that’s such a blessing, but for me it’s like a curse,
A loop on replay in my mind, repetition of a verse,
A years worth of memories that could fit within a life time,
Encapsulated and merely summarised within this short rhyme,
So much betrayal, abuse and countless lies,
I can’t forget any of it, no matter how much my heart cries,
I feel them with all my senses and relive them like they’re present,
It’s my very own version of a personal depressant,
I have flashes in my minds eye, it distracts me like a phenom,
But I don’t delight in its company, it poisons me like venom.
I hear your pathetic excuses and it strikes within my animus,
This is one situation where I don't wish to remain magnanimous,
Something just wasn't right, I felt it throughout my being,
Then I stumbled upon the evidence, it was that which sent me fleeing,
The dirty sheets, the yellow top, the change in your behaviour,
In pleasant memories of past, I can now no longer savour,
Got me questioning all of it, and how you're inherently feral,
But removing myself from you didn't get rid of this level,
Of ultimate betrayal, the recollection of all remains,
A combination of bad memories that'll leave my heart stained.
Tell us the journey from first seeing the prompt to the final creation?
This was a deep one lol! As soon as I saw it I knew what I was going to write about. It made me think about something that happened in November 2020 and how I still can’t get it out of my head.
It was quite emotional for me to think about it in a creative way but at the same time it helped to give it words that I could write down rather than just think about in my head. Kind of a release. It just flowed. However, the second paragraph was a little slower than the first (maybe because it included details that I was worried about sharing).
When have you felt your greatest moment of creative breakthrough?
I would have to say when I hit rock bottom. I usually write my best work when I have been hurt. There are two people that have been my ultimate muses and this unfortunately, has been due to the abuse I have endured from them. On the up side though, I get my poems from that lol.
My greatest moment was on 16.06.2020 when I wrote what I believe to be my best poem. I had been having a really hard time with one of my muses and my mental health was not good.